Already broken

He was not broken because of drink,
He drank because he was broken,
He was not alone because he was a drinker,
He was a drinker because he was alone,
Already broken,
Damaged in the transit of life,
Blame passed,
Cracks filled and papered over,
Hidden by the shame of reality,
A lesson learned far to late to repair,
But damage control instils new recollections,
Halcyon days of sun and fun,
And not the bleakness of a childhood lost,
Living with in his own mind,
To for ever protect himself from harm,
Or just to harm himself,
Trepidation at every social action,
Retreating to the safety of his shell,
For fear of ridicule,
Torment,
Or,
A clipped ear,
To view the world from that day hence,
As a war to be waged,
To be serenely anaesthetised,
To face the fear,
To confront the enemy at his gates,
As each day begins,
Topping up his anger as needed through his day,
To return home bloodied and bruised from his fight,
Just for now a respite from the pandemonium,
Outside his door,
White noise of his mind keeping sleep at bay,
Voices screaming at him from the dark,
Rage boils with no victim on hand,
To turn it on himself once more,
Taking the place of the absent bullies,
To become a victim of his own wrath,
Until the day breaks once more,
And again to tackle,
The enemy beyond his door.

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