My Demons

We all have our demons, This is mine,
My demons I once quenched with a silky sweet nectar, Now linger inside,
Trapped and screaming,
Louder day by day,
I fear to let them out,
In case they engulf me totally,
But my will weakens,
Giving in to them come night fall,
Now no longer able to control,
Giving in to the need to silence them, In my torment they revel,
Drink to forget,
But just for the shortest of time,
Helping me to put the past behind,
If only for one night,
The black cloud now rising to smother my will to resist, Just one for the smallest relief from my pain,
My aching heart soon to be filled with a drunken joy,
Only a masquerade mask to cover my pain,
In a purple haze of fun,
Once again the painted smile of the clown,
My will easily bent,
My grief just covered with the silky satin veil soon to pass, Now just left with the maddening shriek of a million dark crows, Pecking at my tender mind,
Giving way and returning to my demons,
Through the day,
To torture my soul,
Only to begin again and set them free come dark.

This one is about my desire for drink and the temporary relief it gave me, some may say it caused more pain than it covered. It created more problems over time, my three children no longer want anything to do with me, and I dont blame them. I lost all perspective when drunk or drinking, but I would not be told, I was the master of my ship, and I would sail it the way I wanted to. Booze made me belligerent, I made Gordon Ramsey look tame as I raged my way around a kitchen, the stories I could tell would turn your hair grey.

This is about my knowledge of the damage I was doing to every part of my life while drinking or drunk, my addiction to the liquid fuel, and pure and simple desire to die, but being too cowardly to carry out my desire, I chose the slow suicide of alcohol and cigarettes. I was, looking back on it sober, raging against the world that had done me wrong, and poem by poem I was going to tell it so, but only with the strength of inebriation.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s